Dinner in sweatpants turned into coffee in more formal wear turned into even more formal wear and a wedding, which, soon, will turn into parenthood.
Life can’t be summed up in one sentence. But let’s say it has moved quickly for Northwestern graduate student-athlete Tre Demps.
First, though, the dinner, the one Demps almost didn’t show up to that November night in 2013.
The Wildcats’ home opener was the next day. The 6-foot-3 guard knew not what he was walking into. Still, he threw on some comfortable clothes and trudged on, if for no other reason than to keep his word.
Heather Demps was Heather John then. She had grown up in Chicago the daughter of a single mother and a sister to two brothers. She had reached out via Facebook to former NU basketball player Reggie Hearn in search of a male mentor for one of them, Nolan, then 13.
Hearn suggested Demps. After two weeks, Heather finally texted him and they agreed to meet.
“I had never heard of him,” she said. “Within a week he asked if I would go to coffee. I figured it wasn’t just to talk about my brother.”
She was right.
Demps, whose father is former NBA player and current Pelicans general manager Dell Demps, brought up his faith, talked about how an injury brought him closer to God.
“That’s what really drew me to him,” Heather said. “Basketball and the Lord came together for him.”
Before she knew it, Heather had found not only a mentor for her brother, but also her first boyfriend. And future husband.
She said yes to that offer of coffee after the initial meeting at Buffalo Wild Wings. Soon, the two were dating.
She was serious about guarding her heart, though, and her family. Tre threw himself into the relationship, only to see Heather back off at times.
But Heather said yes again when Tre proposed on March 22, 2015, in front of close church friends. He had saved up for five months for the engagement ring and surprised Heather with a banner asking for her “I do.”
The two were married June 13 at Edgewater Baptist Church, the same church Heather attended as a child. Demps’ NU teammates were there, in the family section, for the big day.
“It’s a first for me, having a player be married,” said third-year Wildcats coach Chris Collins, who spent 13 seasons as an assistant coach for Duke. “I’ve coached some guys who have had children. … In a lot of respects, I think it’s helped him.”
Speaking of children, the Demps’ daughter is due March 14.
‘He’s always been driven’
Tre Demps apologized for being late. He had some jumpers — 400 to be exact — to attend to.
He never stops working. He can’t afford to.
The father-to-be wiped sweat from his forehead as he took a break inside the Wildcats’ practice gym.
The conversation turned to his parents — mother Serene Wilson, with whom Demps lived in the Bay Area until he moved in with his father when he was 15.
Even before they lived together full time, Tre used to tag along with Dell to Spurs practices. Dad was vice president of basketball operations then. Tre was a sixth-grader absorbing all he could while running sprints alongside Tim Duncan and Bruce Bowen early in the Texas mornings.
One morning found Tre playing some one-on-one against his father. Spurs coach Gregg Popovich took notice as the young boy struggled to make reverse layups.
“I wasn’t very good at it, so after that me and him did like 100 reverse layups,” Tre said. “I was still learning, but it was cool for him to sit there and work with me for 20 minutes on something. I feel like I got pretty good at it after that.”
Tre continues to pay forward that mentorship with Heather’s brother Nolan, now a 16-year-old student at Von Steuben High School.
Then again, according to Tre’s mother, he has had a knack for building bridges since he was a young child.
In sixth grade, Tre was assigned to build something by a person his mother described as “probably the hardest teacher he’d ever had.”
“He would be up till 1 in the morning,” Wilson said. “He’s always been a little bit more mature for his age. He’s always been driven.”
Heather was working for a Chicago law firm when she met Tre. She also was involved in women’s ministry. Tre was a junior basketball player for the Wildcats. He also led a weekly bible study on the Evanston campus.
“That was pretty much the only time he’s been like that about anybody,” Wilson said. “I don’t think anybody saw it coming that they met, but the fact it played out like it did, it all seemed to feel really right.”
Out of his shell
If the Dempses have their way, there will be plenty of March madness.
The couple’s daughter is due the day after the Big Ten tournament championship. Northwestern is a long shot to play in the game, or to reach its first NCAA tournament, but Tre would welcome the chaos.
It’s something he’s getting used to.
“He promises us if we make the tournament, he’s not going to miss a game,” teammate Bryant McIntosh said. “I’m going to tell him, no matter what, to go. His wife might kill him.”
Tre said he hasn’t had a lot of time to think about impending fatherhood, that between studies and basketball and life, he thinks of being a dad mostly when he talks about it with Heather.
“I try to stay focused on the here and now,” he said. “When she comes, she comes. That’s my mindset right now.”
It’s a mindset that has changed in recent years.
Demps was described as once being a bit of a “loner” and an “introvert” by McIntosh, with whom Demps has roomed on the road. But people around the NU basketball program have noticed a chance in Demps since his nuptials.
“The thing is, they had never kissed until the day they got married,” McIntosh said. “It was kind of the expectation, the anticipation of it, that’s something I’ll always remember.
“After he got married, I feel like he has opened up. She’s brought out the best in him. That’s one of the biggest compliments I can give her and him.”
Collins echoed his point guard’s words. He could relate, somewhat, to the player he said was constantly in the gym when he took over as Wildcats coach. Collins’ father, Doug, played eight seasons in the NBA and coached for 11 more.
Though he said he regrets he couldn’t attend the wedding — he had a family wedding the same weekend — Collins has seen a little more happiness in a player who averages more minutes (36.8) than any other Wildcat.
Demps is second to McIntosh in points (14.7 per game) and assists (3.6), but he has struggled some this season, shooting just 38.3 percent from the field and 29.6 percent from behind the 3-point line.
“What I struggle with most is trying not to take what happens in basketball home with me,” Demps said. “Sometimes it’s almost impossible. You want to do well and you want to win so bad. But you just try your best — try to be the best husband you can be, try to be the best student.”
And the best mentor.
Twitter @ChiTribSkrbina
